That’s a wrap!

Recovery, Christmas, New Years Eve and one special birthday just around the corner (Nickles is turning 37!!). I am glad I didn’t rush back into work and we kept our holiday time very quiet – was a mental reset that I really needed. I had some great days, some hard days and some sad days.

During one of my therapy sessions my therapist said to me, “who do you want to be” or something to that effect. It seems so simple but until someone asks you at the exact right time I don’t think we really understand that we have the power to “rewrite our story”. It sounds simple, and to some degree it is. The hard part is believing you’re worth it, and consciously making an effort. And it’s the little things, it’s always the frigging little things isn’t it? As Bevvie Jo would say “go for a walk you’ll feel better”, terrible idea when it’s your mother who tells you, fantastic idea when you think you’ve made the decision on your own – love you Mama. If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, I deserve more then wasting away on the sofa between 5:30 and 9:30 every night, go for a walk, go to YouTube and google low impact workouts (Body Project is great), start a blog, learn to crochet (yes I tried, apparently you need patience for that), go to a old lady aqua-size with Jeannie and I, do whatever makes your heart feel happy. Then when you are done, you can still send 400 TikTock reels to your person.

It’s only in the last few months I really truly believe that I am worth it, I deserve it, I am good enough. My life goal is to live authentically, to be unapologetically me, to help other people in anyway I can, to make sure the people in my circle know they are worth it, to always crack a joke at the most inappropriate time. It’s taken me a long time to get here, a lot of mistakes, giving the wrong things priority and trying to “fit in” – I wish I had the foresight to discover this in my teens.

So, let’s recap 2023 because it was a DOOZY. My Dad got really sick, then he passed away in January unexpectedly, I didn’t handle things well, I thought I was ok (I was not ok), I started therapy, reconnected with my family, solidified there are members of my family I will never bother with again, more therapy, diagnosed with moderate to severe NAFLD, more therapy, made a very quick decision to have gastric bypass, did 5 weeks of detox, spent 6 days trapped I mean bonding with my Mother her “cough” and my sister in Montreal for surgery (you guys know I couldn’t have done it without you), more therapy, physical recovery, mental work and learning how to treat my body with care and love – ongoing, forever and zero regrets. I don’t think we ever stops processing the death of a parent, the firsts are especially hard but they come whether you’re ready or not.

So, I guess it’s time to see what the next year has for me. I really fucking hope it’s calorie and sugar free candy.

Here’s a picture of how cute Jimmy and are were NYE at the most boring NHL game ever for the first two periods – legit, the old guy in front of us slept the entire first two periods.